Kenneth Mars Obituary

On Sunday, February 12^th 2011 we lost a true legend of stage and cinema acting. The great Kenneth Mars passed away due to the truly despicable disease known as Cancer, Pancreatic to be precise. However, I prefer not to think about the way in which he died, but the way that he lived.

Mars was born April 14^th 1936 in Chicago, Illinois and grew up in Calumet Heights, where he studied at Caldwell Elementary School and then Bowen High School. From here he went onto Northwestern University before making his acting debut in 1962, when he portrayed a book publisher on the NBC comedy series Car 54, Where Are You? which ran from 1961-1963. This was the beginning of a successful career which would span five decades, where he worked alongside Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder in The Producers (1968), and also featured in Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid (1969) with Robert Redford and Paul Newman.

Throughout his life, Mars performed a range of roles, such as 'Police Inspector Hans Wilhelm Friedrich Kemp' in Mel Brook's 1974 classic, Young Frankenstein, ranging right up to 'King Triton' from Disney's Little Mermaid, a role which he reprised for the video game series Kingdom Hearts. But it is for his role as Franz Liebkind in Mel Brooks' 1968 masterpiece, The Producers, where he plays a Hitler-obsessed play-write and author of Springtime for Hitler that he is most remembered for. He played this character on stage, as well as in the film version, and this exaggerated german accent would become an element of Mars' characters in other performances, such as his role of 'Otto Mannkusser' in Malcolm and the Middle. The last project Mars worked on in his illustrious acting career was the TV series, The Land Before Time, which was very similar to the film series and featured him as 'Grandpa Longneck', and before this he played 'Gunther the Inn Keeper' in Hannah Montana, which again made use of his broad German-accent.

With a glorious career such as this, it is easy to see how the exquisite Kenneth Mars achieved his legendary status and this is where we will take most comfort as legends never truly die.

Kenneth Mars: April 14th 1936 - February 12th 2011

Mean Machine Review

So here we are in the year 2011 and I have decided to get all anniversary up in here by celebrating the tenth year of one of the world's most recent legends. No I am not referring to The Strokes debut album This Is It (2001), I am of course referring to Mean Machine (2001), directed by Barry Skolnick.

This pound of piss sees Vinnie Jones playing fictitious footballing legend Danny Meehan as he attempts to triumph over the adversity of being a once beloved, now despised, celebrity in a supposedly realistic prison environment. As this festering turd of a narrative drags it's way towards conclusion like a tapeworm-ridden dog towing itself across a new carpet, we see Vinnie Jones tackle the gruesome side of prison as he fights some twat, receives solitary confinement for saving a fellow prisoner from the onslaught of racial discord, witnesses Omid Djalili portray a prat-falling Iranian, nearly gets penetrated in the bathroom by Scotsman's friend (of course, I mean his knife) and bang the fit one from Smack The Pony (Sally Philips), who, in this role, looks like she fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down.

However the film does possess some good points, such as the stereotypical yet wonderfully appropriate and even hair-raising commentary of the wardens vs. cons match provided by the two bobs (Jake Abraham and Jason Flemyng), or the nostalgia-inducing scene in which we see the great John Forgeham, playing Charlie Sikes, put 'the frighteners' on the shit-bag governor, played by David Hemming, vaguely reminiscent of scenes from Performance, or even Minder (both of which feature the superb Anthony Valentine).

Despite the film's positives, it is a bad film and I love it with every fibre of my being. I love the bad acting, such as when Rocky Marshall acts as referee to an organised fight between prisoners where he essentially caterwauls until red in the face. I love the fact that Vas Blackwood (Lennox Gilbey from Only Fools And Horses, episode: The Longest Night) is in the film as well as the exquisite David Kelly (you know, O'Riley from Fawlty Towers). I love the fact that Ralph Brown is in the film as the 'noble bobby' because all I can ever picture him saying is his most memorable line of dialogue from Wayne's World, "we had to beat them to death with their own shoes" (I know he is a prison warden put the point still stands).

Most of all, I adore this film because it can make me feel happy, sad and every emotion in between, which is what any good film should be able to do and it does all of this by celebrating the actors of British Film and Television, therefore making Mean Machine a damn good film.

P.S. The Strokes new album is scheduled for release this year.

Pet Shop Boys: Live Review

On Tuesday 13^th of July, I attended the first date of The Pet Shop Boys 2010 tour. Among the highlights were Chris Lowe in an orange wig, dancing blocks, a tribute to the late Dusty Springfield and Neil Tennant’s personal homage to children’s television by dressing up as a disco Mr. Ben.

The venue for the night was the Wintergardens’ Empress Ballroom, Blackpool and it was filled with an atmosphere of excitement and anticipation.

The night had one support act, in the form of the gorgeous and talented Sophie Ellis Bextor (daughter of Blue Peter’s Janet Ellis) and what a start to the festivities she was! Her band was more than competent, all dressed in the finest garb of the high street and the quality of their performance was all one would expect of trained professionals, but the true highlight was the child-like nervousness in Mrs. Bextor’s as she announced that this was her first performance in Blackpool.

Now it was time for the headlining act: The Pet Shop Boys. The lights dimmed and a familiar sound of synthesizers filled the hall as animated blocks emerged onto the stage. The synthesizers and drum machines flourished as this sonic landscape before us somehow mutated into heart, at which point one of the ‘blockmen’ produced a microphone and started singing the first line, “every time I see you”. A few songs into the performance, two of the ‘blockmen’ removed disappeared from the stage and within moments we were greeted by Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe. I was blown away by this performance but sadly I seemed to be the one of few as the (older) crowd were simply standing on the receiving end of this experience. Where was the dancing? Where was the harmony? Not so much as a clap from the older generations and I was furious at their refusal to interact. The crowd had shunned Mrs. Bextor but I simply wrote that off as an age thing. This, however, was bordering on sacrilegious!

As the event went on, audience participation stayed at this appalling level until a cover of Coldplay’s Viva La Vida came waltzing with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of the gig. Astoundingly, the audience lapped it up! The Pet Shop Boys were clearly thinking of their audience with this one, particularly as Mr. Tennant had traded in his Mr. Ben headwear in exchange for a crown. During these few minutes, the audience and the band were in perfect harmony as they sang the pseudo-religious chorus, “I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing...” And so on.

The performance was spectacular: The flawless music; costume and set design; scantily clad dancers; projected image of Dusty Springfield during the performance of ‘What have I done to deserve this’ (which features the recorded vocal of the late, great Ms. Springfield from the original collaboration in 1987) and the heartfelt performance of Glad All Over (Blackpool’s official football song) which featured Chris Lowe in a curly tangerine wig and a sentimental speech before bidding us all goodbye.

Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles Review

I have eagerly anticipated a game in this series in which we get to see not only the origins of Jack Krauser, but the story behind Leon’s status in RE4. However, after playing Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles, the previous instalment in the franchise, I was not overly keen on playing another ‘first-person shooter’ interpretation of Resi’s past events. Eventually I buckled and purchased the game, and now I feel even more dissatisfied than before I played it!

The game-play is nothing special; in fact there are times when I find myself shooting everything on screen (including allies and my own reflection) just to break away from the tedium. Also, the playability is constantly interrupted by ‘shakey’ camera work and Blair Witch styled fleeing from enemies, who usually could be killed within a matter of seconds. To top this off, any gamer equipped with moderate skill and a reasonable grasp of common sense will find the Boss fights ending a bit too quickly, as the character’s dialogue makes very clear, “Claire, we can’t stop it!”*Boss falls down, dead*

Throughout the game, we are constantly barraged by circus freaks, clichéd locations and acting that wouldn’t look out of place in a 90’s Teen Horror. Despite all this, you keep playing, because the game does have its moments, such as Albert Wesker’s cameo and Alexia Ashford’s hibernation chamber.

Alright, the storyline is predictable, but this is horror we’re talking about! The genre is crammed full of predictability, and when it is not predictable we find ourselves gawping (with a sense of gloom and despair) at a Human Centipede! I, for one, like the storyline behind the whole RE franchise and will never view it negatively. The plot somehow bypasses my cynicism and takes me back to my childhood with every blood-spattering, gun-wielding, parasite-eradicating moment.

In short, Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles is adequately successful in filling in some of the blanks of Resident Evil’s Story. However, as a game, it is quite ordinary and pretty forgettable to play.